Stay in your F-in' Lane!!!

So I'm driving to work today (which I'm sure the special effects people on the Star Trek movie could use as research for what to make things look like when the inertial dampeners on the Enterprise go offline) and I had one of those moments where you just have had enough of something and you scream.

I know, I know...every expat here in Qatar (and probably most other GCC countries) gab constantly about the driving here. When you have those introspective moments, it's the topic of conversation about which you ask yourself, "Damn, is that all I can talk about?"

But it really does provide so much fodder. And you will get many more driving stories, so deal with it.

And today I had had enough...of people creeping across the lines in the road. Mind you, this isn't swerving, which would be annoying and dangerous in its own right. This is creeping. It's as if they've got one wheel out of alignment and they just can't hold the steering wheel tight enough to keep the vehicle from drifting off track.

Seeing as how these morons over here jump curbs like your granny's dog does your leg, I could totally see how their wheels could get jacked. (Side note: I wonder how always going through roundabouts counterclockwise affects your vehicle. Hmmmm?)

But you speed up to pass them (partly in a passive-aggressive attempt to suggest they stay in their lane) and what do you see? Well there's damn sure nobody in there white-knuckling a steering wheel with a "help me" look on their sweat-drenched face.

No, no...these nitwits are on their mobile phones - which is illegal, thank you very much!

So today I kinda flipped. I looked square at the gentleman today and screamed, "Stay in your fucking lane, you mouth-breathing redneck!!!"

He didn't see me but it made me feel better.

"Duing" Dubai

Having received my exit permit 3 or 4 weeks ago (this allows you to leave Qatar as you please), it was high time I went somewhere. I settled...no, not settled...decided on Dubai. It was close, I've always wanted to go there, and I had some friends there that I could hang with - it was a perfect first trip.

Oh, and THEY HAVE AN IKEA!!!!

And no, I'm not a frothing-at-the-mouth fan of Ikea. They just have good product and they're a Swedish company (and I have to support my people). And then there's the civilization factor - you see an Ikea, you know the town's got running water, 5-star hotels, dance clubs, and restaurants that don't get shut down by the health department (and by virtue of this, a health department).

Now don't get me wrong...Doha is not this backasswards kind of place. It's got some gorgeous buildings and museums, cultural events aplenty (including Fedde Le Grande, which I am missing because I'll be out of the country...I'm so pissed), and great shopping thanks to the new high-end wing at the Villagio Mall.

But, sister, lemme tell ya. Dubai is freakin' AMAZING!!!

I was absolutely blown away on so many levels. There's grass (yes, the green stuff that is a tad bit sparse in Doha) and trees and it's so damn clean and modern. At times you honestly feel like you're in the states. And the buildings. They're everywhere. EVERYWHERE! And just when you think you've seen all of them you drive a little further and THERE'S MORE! Holy hell it's crazy!

So yeah, totally sold on Dubai. It may not have the old-timey charm that Doha has but it's absolutely lovely and I could totally live there.

So here's some pics. Totally random and not the best quality as I didn't take my good camera with me. The really tall building is the new Dubai Tower and is the tallest building in the world (160 floors). There's also some of the Burj al Arab hotel which is the 7-star hotel that you always see on the Discovery Channel or TLC. And the ones from the nightclub, Sanctuary (the shot of George mid-dance move) were at the Atlantis Hotel out on the famed Palm (the man-made island in the shape of a palm tree that you see on tv as well). It was kinda surreal to think that you were actually physically on or near these structures.

Let The Good Times Roll

This was the weekend of the now Internationally-known Copacabana Party. Miss Evie (aka Yoyo, my hood ornament, or the asian girl with the huge glasses in these photos) is skipping town and moving to Dubai in a week or so; leaving Doha minus a town drunk.

After assembling an emergency BBQ pit, I got to grillin' and everyone else got to drinkin' around 12:30 p.m. Several kilos of charred animal flesh and liters of fermented/distilled/concocted beverages later, we were full, buzzed and happy.

All this despite the fact that the maintenance crew neglected to tell us that the pool was undergoing repairs and would not have any water in it. Oh well, when life hands you lemons, ask that they be sliced so you can use them in your cocktail. :)

Brunch at the Old Souk

I throw the word like I've been around here forever, but I had never heard of it before my friend Danna (who had been in Qatar previously) told me what it was.

The word is "Souk," and it basically means a marketplace.

What do they sell? Anything you want. There's the pearl souk, spice souk, mobile phone souk, gold souk, clothing souk....etc. And most of these are located in what's called the "Old Souk" or "Souk Waqif."

So, anyway, here's some photos I took while at brunch on Saturday. They're not the best as I didn't really set them up, I just shot them. (Sorry, I just didn't want to look like a tourist...I live here for Pete's sake!)

Her Name is Pearl

So everyone has been asking for pictures of my new ride and I hadn't really had a chance to take any. I took a few when I was car shopping but they were just so I could remember what I looked at after looking at a dozen different vehicles. Plus she's been a very dirty girl lately and I couldn't photograph her in that state.

I had every intention of grabbing some at the beach but since we spent most of the time trying to find the friggin beach, I didn't get much time. But here's a shot of her (sans Asians laying on the hood/sticking out of the sunroof).

Her name is Miss Pearl as she has a pearl-like paint job - kinda changes from silver to pink to purple. BMW calls it Diamond Metallic but I don't think it looks like a diamond at all. She's a big girl, a 7-series stretch so she's got lots-o-legroom and she's like driving a cloud (albeit a very well appointed cloud) on rails - I now know what all the fuss is about driving a Bimmer.

Beach Trip That Almost Wasn't

So, this weekend a beach trip was planned. While it took us a few attempts to make it out of Doha, we finally departed. It was about a 40 km trip north to Al Khor where I understood from my crew that there was a gorgeous beach that stretched for miles and miles. (pardon the mix of English and Metric.)

Well, the beach never materialized (at least not one to our strict standards) but hilarity did ensue and we had a great time regardless. My friends Laz eventually commandeered the girls' car and we headed back to Doha to the Intercon for at least a few hours of fun on a beach. Luckily they had buckets of Heineken (at 8 bucks a beer...yikes!!!) so we chilled in the pool after a rousing game of extreme foozball.

A Few More Random Doha Shots

Tiesto in Doha

So last weekend, I had my first taste of what it's like to see quite possibly the world's most well known DJ in a foreign country. I've been to events in the U.S. but they pale in comparison to the sheer energy I witnessed (and had a hand in contributing to) here in Doha. It was electric and probably the most fun event I've ever been to.

I went with a new group of friends - pregamed at their place and then headed over to the Intercontinental Hotel close to where I live and joined the crowd of I don't know how many. It was on the beach (a beach party, indeed). Across the bay was the beautiful Doha skyline and in the sky an awesome full moon. I proceeded to drink and dance my ass off.

Great friends, a great performance and some really dirty feet. The night will forever be etched in my memory.

Beautiful Doha Night Skyline

The Worst Intersection in Doha

I can't help but giggle every time I watch this. Everything is a walking contradiction. There's lines on the road but nobody stays in them. There's speed limits but nobody follows them (except where there's cameras). You just have to laugh.

Big Ba-Allah-er

I'll just let this speak for itself.

I thought this looked like a Central Maraket

I would kill for a Central Market.

House of Fog...Then Sand

So Tuesday it was fog.  Today...SAND!  Everywhere.  It feels like you're on frickin Mars!

Tomorrow it's supposed to be torrential rains which sounds really fun in a country where there's no drainage because it never rains here.  FUN FUN FUN!

City in the Sky

So everyday here you constantly ask yourself, "really?"

"Did that guy REALLY just zoom past me and cut across 4 lanes of traffic?" (yes)

"Is that guy REALLY wearing an eggplant sleeveless pullover sweater with (what looks like) tinsel woven into it?" (yes)

"Did I REALLY just see the numbers 1180 in my bar tab at the Ritz?" (relax...that's 1180 Riyals)

This morning's "really" moment was when I was walking into the kitchen to iron a pair of pants and I look out the window. Well, I wouldn't call it looking out as it was so foggy I couldn't see more than 6 inches away from the window. The first thought that went through my mind was that I had left the bathroom door open and fogged up the entire apartment while taking a shower. It was kind of surreal because normally I can see the other tower in my complex and today...nothing.

So it finally burned off a little by the time I left for work. Then my coworker's husband sends her this pic from his office close to where I live. Pretty cool, I'd say.